rann

Wow, been forever, huh? And probably will be forever again, but sometimes you just come across something too perfect...

"LJ has the best possible conditions for cultivating hysteria. Half the users are looking for something to be offended by, and the other half are too stoned to go to work. The combination turns out a magically delicious flavor of drama that never gets stale." - April Winchell

"Ohgod, guys, ohgod, the iPad is KILLING the Kindle! We have to save the Kindle, it's one of our only actually moneymaking products!"

"Um, um, um... okay! Okay, here's what we do! We... we strip out some of the best features, and we stick a ton of ads in it, to make up for selling it at a reduced price!"

"Awesome! How much do we cut the price?!"

"TWENTY WHOLE DOLLARS!"

"Oh my god I don't know if we can do that but it's just crazy enough to work!"

Clearly, Apple has not driven Amazon crazy. No, no, no... they've driven Amazon retarded.

Posted because I know at least one person on my friendslist has taken Scott Adams to task for one of his monumentally stupid internet posts before:

Creator of Dilbert writes his thoughts on sexism and discrimination against males, manages to be wildly insulting towards both genders, and then baaaaawwwletes it like a bitch when the internet tears him a new one.

Lulu stares. "... Ten dollars shipping for a thirteen dollar stainless steel coffee cup? You're going to claim it weighs -four pounds-? I call bullshit."
Nocturne o_o
Nocturne had to pay £10 shipping for a PS2 game.
Lulu says, "That was probably to pay the ninja they had fight the anti-videogame police that patrol Europe's borders."
Nocturne says, "God bless you, ninja."

Rann Aridorn (6:54:56 PM): *gets tired of super-cheap bosses in DCUO, logs out* u.u

Arkhaine (6:56:17 PM): (patpat)

Rann Aridorn (6:57:09 PM): Seriously, they just -cheat-. I was doing a fight against two of the Flashes, where basically you toggle where one is gorilla-devolved and controlled and the other is fighting...

Rann Aridorn (6:57:51 PM): Well the fighting one is -always- aggroed on you. No matter if you've actually hit him, or if Grodd/the other flash/your pet is hitting him more, he will always be right on your ass hitting you nonstop.

Arkhaine (6:58:12 PM): Yeeeesh. o.o;

Rann Aridorn (7:00:14 PM): And before that, it was Zatanna. "I can hit you wherever I am in the room, and even if you take cover I can instantly teleport behind you and immediately zap you. But just because that's not enough, halfway through I'll be a little bitch, run crying to the corner, and make you fight Etrigan."

Rann Aridorn (7:00:37 PM): And after you fight Etrigan, you've gotta finish her off, with her still being just as cheap as before.

Arkhaine (7:01:29 PM): o.o;;;;

Rann Aridorn (7:02:17 PM): As if that weren't insult to injury, if you lose at any point, you have to start the -whole- boss fight over. Including unskippable cutscenes with bad voiceacting.

Arkhaine (7:04:25 PM): Yeeeeesh.

So I'm at Fryes, marveling at the fact that they actually have at least one rack of anime in bluray (and it's actually separated into its own section), holding a couple of things, when this female sales associate walks up.

SA: Hi!

Me: Hey.

SA: Finding everything alright today?

Me: Yeah, just browsing.

SA: ... *stands there*

Me: ... *continues browsing, wondering if I look like a shoplifter or something*

SA: ... Have you heard about The Secret?

Me: ... . o O ( Oh Christ Jesus they've evolved into evangelicals. What's a less-than-polite-but-not-absolutely-rude way to tell her to fuck off? ) Oh, that cult type thing from Oprah?

SA: Oh, uh... y-yeah. That's... you watch Oprah?

Me: No. *sidles further down the rack, keeping my eyes on the anime*

SA: *follows* Oh? So where'd you hear about it then?

Me: ... Cult-watch website. *deciding to see just how much of a hint she'll refuse to take* Actually, no, I read on a blog somewhere that it talked about how The Secret says when bad things happen to you, it's your own fault for thinking negatively.

SA: Well yes that's-

Me: So that when Oprah was abused and molested as a child, it was apparently her own fault.

SA: ... You know I was just thinking about that the other day! But I think the real message is to think positively and-!

Me: . o O ( O-kay, enough's enough. ) Could I see your manager, please?

SA: Oh. ... Sure.

Guess she wasn't thinking positively enough, huh?

To: Blizzard Customer Disservice
From: Someone tired of getting snippy, condescending form letters while their account's inactive

You geniuses have closed an account I haven't even been using in months, since I closed it over the whole RealID fiasco. You should be able to check back and find out about that, since you sent me an email at the time pleading for me to come back. Since I have not, apparently your pathetic excuse for security has been compromised and my account stolen by the gold miners that are only slightly more mercenary than Blizzard itself.

This is the second time I've received an email snarling at me for infractions while my account wasn't even active. While I was considering coming back to try Cataclysm, frankly you can just close the account or let the gold miners keep it, as I don't really give a flying fuck at this point. Both of you are in the business of getting money out of poopsockers, so I don't see a lot of difference. My every interaction with this company, from billing to customer service, has shown you to be incompetent bordering on criminal, without even taking into account the near-fascist attempts at seizing ever more power over the sad souls you call customers.

I would like to invite the reader of this mail, and indeed everyone that is so pathetic as to work for Blizzard, to shove a Tauren up their ass. Meanwhile I will be foregoing the purchase or playing of any Blizzard or Blizzard-related products for the next several lifetimes. Thank you very much and please die in a fire.

Sometimes I think I love memegenerator a bit too much... then I think, "naw".



Guesses what comm I was thinking of when I made this? Anyone? Anyone?

*ringring*

"Claims office."

"Hello, can I speak to [adjuster]?"

"Who may I ask is calling?"

"[Name]."

"And what is it in regards to?"

"A personal business matter."

*click*

... *ringring*

"Claims office."

"I'm sorry, is there a reason you hung up on me?!"

"Because you're a debt collector."

"W-who said I was a debt collector?!"

"'Personal business matter' is code for 'debt collector'."

"So can I assume you're [adjuster], then?"

"Nope."

"Well then could I be put through to him without you hanging up on me? I don't think that's very professional."

"... Haaahahahahahaha! HAAAAHAhahahahahahaaa! Ahhh hahahaha! Haaahahahahagetarealjob!" *click*


He didn't call back again. I wonder why?

If your insecurity in your masculinity requires you to dub in another song when you post a video of your Robot Unicorn Attack high score, you automatically lose all rights to that high score.

If you can't own up to wanting to live in harmony harmony oh lo~ve, you shouldn't be bragging about the high score you got in a game about rainbow-maned unicorns.